veryroundbird | Sunshine Challenge 2023 #1: Iris

[Iris] can represent faith, hope, courage, wisdom and admiration. Specific flower colors attach further meanings to the pretty blooms. Purple iris brings a message of wisdom and compliments, while a bouquet of blue iris blossoms speak of hope and faith.

I've been turning this theme over in my head; one of the suggestions was to post a poem that reminded me of the theme, and g-d forbid I miss an opportunity to post a poem, but also I'm trying to get a little more okay with like, talking about myself, so let's get personal.

I had a close friend ask recently about how I manage to be so optimistic and positive all the time when the world is the way it is and to a certain extent I think it's kind of an inborn personality trait, but also like...

I think, generally, my mom was always big into volunteering and trying to find ways to make the world around her better in the ways she could. She's always thought about how she can use her skills for other people, and that's something I think is like... a good way to go through life. It's kind of why I got into amateur radio—I want to be able to have a skill I can use for the community for stuff like public service and emergencies.

The other bit of it is religious conviction, which is to say—I've always been religious, and part of my convictions is that there is some kind of order to the universe and it's good at its heart. Religious convictions are strange to talk about right now because—well, part of my relationship with my wife Degen (

tuberose) is that while we've come from different religious backgrounds, we agree a lot on things like the care of the world, the fact that tradition can be important and beautiful, and that study and interpretation are an important part of engaging with religion.

And right now—so, the thing is, I've been somewhat unusual in having a very positive relationship with Christianity, but also in the process of discussing Judaism with Degen and also doing Torah study weekly with friends, I'm starting to feel like Judaism is something that really speaks to me. It's not that Christianity doesn't, per se, but—I feel like the stuff I care about is stuff that a lot of my Jewish friends share intensely, you know?

My relationship to religion is the kind where I don't really like, care about the factual truthiness of what I believe—where I'd just be like "cool" and keep going if someone managed to prove that whatever I believed wasn't true? The point is the tradition and living in a way that engages with the world and community and... having spent so much time talking with my wife about religion and feeling enriched by that, it really feels like Judaism is a community I want to be part of.

I just feel like a lot of people convert when they don't like their current religion or have been non-religious for a while, so I... feel like I'm in kind of a weird place. I should schedule a time to talk to a rabbi, maybe, and also I don't know how to talk to my family about this, but—anyway, I do really feel like it's something I want to do. Despite everything. Not a loss of faith, but a refinement.

Sunshine Challenge 2023 #1: Iris

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