veryroundbird | Sunshine Challenge 2023 #1: Iris

[Iris] can represent faith, hope, courage, wisdom and admiration. Specific flower colors attach further meanings to the pretty blooms. Purple iris brings a message of wisdom and compliments, while a bouquet of blue iris blossoms speak of hope and faith.

I've been turning this theme over in my head; one of the suggestions was to post a poem that reminded me of the theme, and g-d forbid I miss an opportunity to post a poem, but also I'm trying to get a little more okay with like, talking about myself, so let's get personal.

I had a close friend ask recently about how I manage to be so optimistic and positive all the time when the world is the way it is and to a certain extent I think it's kind of an inborn personality trait, but also like...

I think, generally, my mom was always big into volunteering and trying to find ways to make the world around her better in the ways she could. She's always thought about how she can use her skills for other people, and that's something I think is like... a good way to go through life. It's kind of why I got into amateur radio—I want to be able to have a skill I can use for the community for stuff like public service and emergencies.

The other bit of it is religious conviction, which is to say—I've always been religious, and part of my convictions is that there is some kind of order to the universe and it's good at its heart. Religious convictions are strange to talk about right now because—well, part of my relationship with my wife Degen (

tuberose) is that while we've come from different religious backgrounds, we agree a lot on things like the care of the world, the fact that tradition can be important and beautiful, and that study and interpretation are an important part of engaging with religion.

And right now—so, the thing is, I've been somewhat unusual in having a very positive relationship with Christianity, but also in the process of discussing Judaism with Degen and also doing Torah study weekly with friends, I'm starting to feel like Judaism is something that really speaks to me. It's not that Christianity doesn't, per se, but—I feel like the stuff I care about is stuff that a lot of my Jewish friends share intensely, you know?

My relationship to religion is the kind where I don't really like, care about the factual truthiness of what I believe—where I'd just be like "cool" and keep going if someone managed to prove that whatever I believed wasn't true? The point is the tradition and living in a way that engages with the world and community and... having spent so much time talking with my wife about religion and feeling enriched by that, it really feels like Judaism is a community I want to be part of.

I just feel like a lot of people convert when they don't like their current religion or have been non-religious for a while, so I... feel like I'm in kind of a weird place. I should schedule a time to talk to a rabbi, maybe, and also I don't know how to talk to my family about this, but—anyway, I do really feel like it's something I want to do. Despite everything. Not a loss of faith, but a refinement.

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>>I think, generally, my mom was always big into volunteering and trying to find ways to make the world around her better in the ways she could.<<

Helping others helps yourself too, it's good for resilience.

>>It's kind of why I got into amateur radio—I want to be able to have a skill I can use for the community for stuff like public service and emergencies.<<

Excellent choice. Feel free to prompt me for that some time -- I write about a lot of emergency situations across various series. In fact, Terramagne's equivalent of Radio Shack is called HAMshack.

>>while we've come from different religious backgrounds, we agree a lot on things like the care of the world, the fact that tradition can be important and beautiful, and that study and interpretation are an important part of engaging with religion.<<

If you stack them up, there's a lot of overlap amongst the major world religions -- the Baha'is have some great material on that topic -- and even many of the smaller ones.

>> And right now—so, the thing is, I've been somewhat unusual in having a very positive relationship with Christianity, but also in the process of discussing Judaism with Degen and also doing Torah study weekly with friends,<<

"That which is hateful to you, do not do unto your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn."

>> I'm starting to feel like Judaism is something that really speaks to me. <<

\o/

>> It's not that Christianity doesn't, per se, but—I feel like the stuff I care about is stuff that a lot of my Jewish friends share intensely, you know? <<

Interfaith relationships can be invigorating that way. I've picked up the term tikkun olam (world repair) from Jewish friends, and that speaks to me even though I'm Pagan. Also challah.

I think most people treat religion like the blind men and the elephant, arguing over something none of them can fully grasp. The Divine is just too big and complex to parse with a little human brain. But if you put the pieces together -- compare different religions -- then you can kind of assemble a more complete concept in your head.

>> My relationship to religion is the kind where I don't really like, care about the factual truthiness of what I believe—where I'd just be like "cool" and keep going if someone managed to prove that whatever I believed wasn't true? The point is the tradition and living in a way that engages with the world and community and... <<

Honestly, you're closer to the core of it that way than the people arguing about details. Take Paganism, it can't be in conflict with science, because it's based on the world itself. Just sometimes we learn new things about what we've been revering all along. And the mystic side of every major religion is like that, they all agree that the Divine is more than anyone can really comprehend, so you can't take the descriptions too seriously.

I once observed that religion is like watching a flame through a glass of water. You can see it, you think you understand it, but when you reach out to touch it, the glass is cold and wet. You have no way of knowing that the fire itself is hot and dry, because it's on the other side. Everything we perceive from this perspective may be true, but incomplete.

>> having spent so much time talking with my wife about religion and feeling enriched by that, it really feels like Judaism is a community I want to be part of. <<

Well, go for it. Whatever happens, you'll learn something.

>> I just feel like a lot of people convert when they don't like their current religion or have been non-religious for a while, <<

Those are common experiences.

>> so I... feel like I'm in kind of a weird place.<<

You're not alone. Relationships, whether in a couple or a community, often influence people to explore something new -- a religion, a philosophy, politics, whatever. It's normal. Some folks, like Pagans and Unitarian-Universalists, are prone to aggregating a collection of religions. I say I'm Pagan, but that's actually a jumble of African, Celtic, Sumarian, etc. branches. I've known other folks to move through several faiths, or accrue different ones. It happens. Hunt around a bit, there are books on that topic.

>> I should schedule a time to talk to a rabbi, maybe, <<

That is an excellent plan.

>> and also I don't know how to talk to my family about this, <<

Ask the rabbi. If they do any interfaith work at all, they should have ideas on how to approach that conversation. Books can help too. When Sons and Daughters Choose Alternative Lifestyles is a good broad-spectrum example. Or see any post about discussing difficult topics, there are lots of helpful ones. Just don't start with "we need to talk," that spooks most people.

>> but—anyway, I do really feel like it's something I want to do. Despite everything. Not a loss of faith, but a refinement. <<

It'll be an adventure!

I once observed that religion is like watching a flame through a glass of water. You can see it, you think you understand it, but when you reach out to touch it, the glass is cold and wet. You have no way of knowing that the fire itself is hot and dry, because it's on the other side. Everything we perceive from this perspective may be true, but incomplete.

Oh, this is a great way to put it.

Thank you for your comments! This is kind of big for me to talk about since (1) I'm still not someone who talks about myself that much and (2) it's still kind of new and scary. But yeah, it'll be an adventure!

(And blessedly, our synagogue is almost all interfaith families, so I'm sure they'll have good advice.)

>>Oh, this is a great way to put it.<<

Thank you!

>>Thank you for your comments! This is kind of big for me to talk about since (1) I'm still not someone who talks about myself that much and (2) it's still kind of new and scary. But yeah, it'll be an adventure! <<

Practice makes progress.

>> (And blessedly, our synagogue is almost all interfaith families, so I'm sure they'll have good advice.) <<

Excellent. Ask around; there are probably other couples where one converted to the other's religion. It's not uncommon as people grow together.

Sunshine Challenge 2023 #1: Iris

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